My name is Diane Oltarzewski, and I’d like to tell you the story of my abortion.

In 1974, I was 26 years old and finding my way in New York City. I had graduated from Skidmore College in 1969 with a degree in History, but rather than pursue a teaching career, my passion was music. I’d begun studying classical guitar, and was dedicated to continue learning - taking private lessons and theory classes at night, paying the bills with a succession of day jobs.

By this time, I had a boyfriend, also a musician, who still lived at home in a nearby town. Tom and I were in love and saw a lot of each other. But one month my period was late, and I was noticing changes in my body – a swelling of my breasts, a soreness that didn’t go away. I bought a pregnancy test and it confirmed my suspicions – I was 6 weeks pregnant.

I remember my grave sense of wonder, but also my instant recognition of the next step given our situation. We were not ready to be parents, and I wanted to get on with my life. We talked it over, and Tom agreed to help me pay for the abortion.  

It was so easy then! The yellow pages yielded the Eastern Women’s Center on East 61st Street, so I made an appointment. When the day came, I travelled crosstown by myself. There were no demonstrators to harass me – it was a totally private experience, as it should be.

The clinic staff were very kind and supportive, and the procedure was simple, painless and pretty quick. Afterward, I lay on a cot in soft green light with several other women and a fortifying cup of cider. My life continued – and I felt quietly proud of my decision and my follow-through. The abortion did no harm to us as a couple. Our relationship lasted and deepened for a number of years before we finally parted, to pursue different life paths.

Although my relationship with my parents was loving and candid, and they were well aware - and accepting of my sex life, still I could not bring myself to confide in them about this experience.

Looking back, it saddens me to realize how deep the stigma about abortion is in our culture. How conditioned we have been by an outdated Victorian morality that runs so counter to actual human experience. It took me 20 years before I could talk about it with Mom and Dad.

This experience confirmed my belief that the human need for intimacy and sexual satisfaction is universal, but the human quest to procreate is – and should be – far more selective. Every baby brought into this world should ideally be wanted by its parents, if it is to have a fair shot at a decent life.

Each human being is such a complex mixture of fear and aspiration, weakness and strength, skill and intention. We are given the gift of life to learn to steer for ourselves, and we need to make our choices based on our own deepest, truest values.  One of my guiding principles has always been:  personal energy under personal control. I only have this one life to live, and it must be authentically mine.

As I’ve said, my decision was calm and clear and without regret, and I have lived the life I’ve needed to live with joy and gratitude. Today, I can appreciate how lucky I was that Roe had been decided the year before!

Because 49 years later, in this year of Roe’s overturning, I know that too many women will now be forced to bear a child they do not want to bear - for their own very good reasons!

Their control over their own lives and destinies is being swept away in a tide of intolerance and cruelty.

May that tide recede quickly, and these women’s dignity and privacy and self-determination be restored.

This is my prayer - Thank you for listening.