I grew up in a lower middle class blue collar family in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. I had a father who was never home, and a wonderful mother who worked full time to support our family and still managed to be a great mother. I grew up with a brother who was two years older than I, but we were not close. I have fond memories of my youth. I had close girlfriends and I was popular in school. My family did not have the money to send me to college and no one in my family had ever gone to college.

My mother encouraged me to go to nursing school, and I graduated in 1966 with a degree in nursing from the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia. At that point I had had sex with only one person, my high school sweetheart. We broke up in 1967 and I started dating a dental student at the University of Pennsylvania. I smoked pot for the first time with him while we listened to the Beatles’ song “Yellow Submarine”. I got pregnant and abortions were illegal. I recall at the time that I thought my only choices were to go in front of a panel of doctors and say that I would kill myself if I could not have an abortion, or fly to Japan where I was told abortions were legal. Both options were out of the question.

My roommate told me that a friend of ours had an illegal abortion and she got the name and number of the doctor for me. I was also told that this osteopath had performed abortions for other friends. He was located near Temple University which was a bad neighborhood. My boyfriend and I met with him. Very little was discussed other than the price, which was $900 in cash. I told my boyfriend that I would split it with him.

I decided that I wanted to go alone for the procedure, and I took a cab to the office. The doctor was very kind and professional. I think he used ether for the procedure. I was semi-awake, but it was not painful or uncomfortable. I remember vomiting immediately after the abortion, I guess from the ether. I got dressed and met him at his desk and he gave me pills to dry up my breast milk. I left his office somewhat dazed. He must have called a cab, because a cab immediately appeared, and I went home and got into bed. I spent the evening in bed and my roommates came home from work. One of my four roommates was a close friend and she acted like it was not much of a big deal. Then the three of them went into the back room laughing and fooling around, and I fell asleep. My boyfriend was a very kind person, but after the abortion I ended our relationship. I wanted to get past all of it. A year later I moved to San Francisco, and he came out there for some reason and wanted to see me. He came over to my apartment and I was detached and cool. We never discussed my abortion. We had some small talk and then he left. I never regretted having the abortion. It was the right thing to do at the time. I was only 22 years old. I did not want to marry my partner and I did not want to have a child.

Six years later I was dating someone casually. I hardly knew him. I don’t remember his name. We had sex and I got pregnant again. I didn’t take birth control pills because I didn’t want to put something toxic inside my body. I took them for one month and felt bloated and awful. I used a diaphragm, but obviously didn’t use it this one time. I hated the diaphragm. It didn’t seem fair that I had to be responsible for the birth control. Why didn’t anyone come up with something that the man could ingest to prevent pregnancy?

My girlfriend worked at a local hospital and said she knew a doctor who routinely did abortions, which were legal now. She and I went to the hospital, and I had an abortion. It was so easy. Everything was done professionally and efficiently. It was a medical procedure. The doctor came to my bedside afterwards and said something like how now I have another chance at life. He meant well, but it sounded a little dramatic. This boyfriend came to visit me at home after the abortion. Again, I ended the relationship and wanted to move on. I hardly knew him. After the second abortion, I was afraid to have sex again. I did, and thank God I never got pregnant again. I made a mistake the first time, but the second abortion, I think, there was no excuse for that. I thought I should have known better.

When I was young, I always thought that I would get married and have children. I never married because I never met anyone I wanted to marry. When I turned 30, I sat down and considered whether I wanted to be a single mother or to never have children. I decided that I did not want to be a single mother, so that meant that I was never going to have children. Today I am 78 years old, and I feel fine with my decisions regarding my past abortions and my choice to be childless. I have always followed my gut instincts, and to go against what I feel is truly right for me would have been a mistake.