I never regretted my decision.

My Story

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It has been almost fifty years since I had my abortion. Please let me preface this with: I DO NOT regret my decision. 

I was divorced and had a little boy. My ex-husband had remarried. I had started a small business. I was happy. I met a wonderful man who liked my son as much as he liked me. I never thought that I would marry again, but our relationship grew into a deep, meaningful one. 

His career was developing quickly. He was spending a lot of time out of state. He sent tickets for my son and me to join him for two weeks in Florida for his birthday. He wanted to take my son and me to Disney World. 

When I told my ex that we would not be there the following week, he threw a fit and said if I took my boy out of state, he would have me arrested. I gave in when I told my mother and she agreed with my ex. 

However, when I told my grandmother, her face turned red and she said, “Well, we will see about that. Pack your bags. I will be down to pick you up in an hour.” She bought us another set of tickets and took us to the airport. 

We had the best time of our lives. Those two weeks in Florida with this man were some of the happiest days of my entire life. When I got home, my mother and ex had bonded. They threatened to report me to the authorities. They were alleging that I was an unfit mother. 

I was young and afraid of losing my son. My mother had some influence. She told me that she liked my ex better than she liked me and if I tried to take my son away again, she would make sure that she ruined my life. She told me that when I died, they would raise the boy together. I believed them. 

The man I loved was moving up quickly professionally and had to move out of state for a promotion. I visited him, but never took my son along. Despite having an IUD, I became pregnant. I never told him. 

Abortion was legal but only in a few states. I drove to Chicago and had the procedure done. I never regretted my decision. I was able to have a safe abortion in a medical facility. I never saw the man I loved again. I simply could not face him. I never told anyone about this until recently. I kept this secret for nearly fifty years. 

When I returned home, I was resting in a spare bedroom downstairs and realized I was in the room where Annie died when her mother aborted her baby.  Annie was young and not married and her mother did not want the family disgraced by a scandal. 

I knew about Annie from the time I was ten or twelve. My grandmother told me about Annie. My grandparents bought a farm in 1939 that had been in receivership for quite some time. They were not from that area, so they were unaware of the house and farm’s history. 

The reason the farm had not sold to someone local was no one wanted to live where the murder occurred. Annie’s mother was never charged. Her body was displayed in the parlor. There were never any questions about what happened to Annie. Children were considered chattel at that time. 

My grandparents found out about Annie a few years after they bought the pre-civil war home and property. My grandmother spoke about Annie as if she knew her. After abortion became legal, she said to me, “I don’t blame any young woman for having an abortion.” She was a very enlightened woman for her age. 

I was living in the old house. As I laid there resting, I thought about Annie and how different her life had been from mine. It made me even more grateful for the ability to make a choice to have a safe, legal abortion in a clean medical facility. 

It was the right decision for me and my son. I went on to meet a kind, loving man who helped me raise my son and we have been married for over forty years now. 

I am thankful that I had the freedom to make that choice. I regret that due to an extreme group of politicians and right-wing judges that the right to choose has been reduced to a few states again. This threat is real. If making America great again means diminishing the rights of young women, then I believe we are moving in the wrong direction. A few ruling the many is not the freedom I was hoping for my grandchildren. 

Time to fight back, ladies! Time to VOTE! 

It has been almost fifty years since I had my abortion. Please let me preface this with: I DO NOT regret my decision.


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