First, it has been a good experience to visit my past. I see today how hard I worked to bury the memories of my abortion experiences, especially the terrible physical pain. I now remember the fear of and during each procedure. Today, with 55 to 65 years of distance, I am amazed and proud of myself. I am a survivor and more!

I had two illegal abortions when I was in my 20’s. These were at a time when contraception was still illegal and before Roe v. Wade. My first abortion while living in Pennsylvania, was very painful and caused me to miss a week of work. The second abortion took place in Ohio and I became very ill and ended up in a hospital for at least ten days. They said I almost died.

Like many women of my generation, I told my friends and family that I had a miscarriage. I was ashamed and blamed myself. 

In my early 30’s, divorced, I lived in Los Angeles and had a legal abortion in a hospital with a warm, understanding doctor. (I don’t remember his name or how I paid for it.) The procedure went very well and I was back at work in a day or two. The doctor provided me with a “Copper 7” IUD and I have never been pregnant since then.

For nearly 25 years, I worked in the movie business in Los Angeles and had only one #MeToo incident in my life. Today, I consider myself strong and able to handle men.

I have completely forgiven myself and have great compassion for the young men and all women, globally, who want an abortion. I must say that, in my case, there is some small, lingering sadness after having an abortion, however I felt relief more than anything. I have no children and have never regretted it one bit. I would never have had the life, work, friends, and partners that I have loved and enjoyed over the course of my life if I had made a different decision.

I share my story now because our own bodies are being attacked AGAIN. I could never have guessed that the clock could run backwards.